English to Spanish Other Slang

Está tomado de una conversación de un foro, así que el lenguaje es bastante popular y hay cosas que se me escapan:

"Least don't forget, it is the higher grades that got the options over restricted stocks along with those "performance points" not yet defined for the common folk- looks something like a "profit share" program iupwards to double your fun (and salary). But there is always the road less traveled (leave) which, yes I am and I can't TELL YOU how good I felt to let my boss know I was ding just that. The look on her face when she thought I was supposed to get down and kiss her ripe a-- for the great performance review was, as the commercial goes, "priceless". Let her make this years numbres without my help is all I can say.
Have fun to the resto you good folks - you know who you are. And for the balance of those brown nosed vacuum machines (you know who you are too), look out and cover your backs cause what goes around eventually comes around. ***Batter up!!!!*** (Did he ever play pro-ball or is that another tale too??!!??!!) ... Not tail but he gets confused sometimes- sounds the same right?"