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Off topic: Joyce拜师学艺!
Iniziatore argomento: Joyce Curran
Zhoudan
Zhoudan  Identity Verified
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Da Inglese a Cinese
+ ...
良师益友 Jul 28, 2005

看了Joyce的初译,又看了Shaun认真仔细的点评和Wenjer的指点,真是受益匪浅。我看这可以作为案例收入我们的翻译教材。

 
Chinoise
Chinoise  Identity Verified
Local time: 13:59
Da Inglese a Cinese
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半点意见 Jul 28, 2005

“附和实际”----〉“符合实际”
“建议是极其附和实际的”(immensely valuable recommendations)
---〉“建议是非常宝贵的/难能可贵的”

Joyce Curran wrote:

In 2004 we will be hosting the final of the European championships at Old Trafford in Manchester. Our priority has to be to protect the law-abiding supporter and clamp down on hooligans who spoil the game, we need a practical, pro-active approach to information sharing for national monitoring centres. Their existence alone will not guarantee the end of football hooliganism. I therefore urge this House to adopt the report that we are discussing as it contains immensely valuable recommendations.
2004年我们将在老特拉福德球场主办欧洲冠军决赛。我们的首要中心任务不仅是保护遵纪守法的足球拥护者,而且对企图扰乱球赛进行的流氓暴力者施以严格压制措施。我们需要切合实际的行动,主动积极的与国家监督中心分享情报信息,仅仅依赖他们的努力是不可能确保阻止足球流氓的破坏行为的。因为这份报告内容所包含的建议是极其附和实际的,因此我极力劝告议会能够采纳里面所说的方法措施。


 
jyuan_us
jyuan_us  Identity Verified
Stati Uniti
Local time: 12:59
Membro (2005)
Da Inglese a Cinese
+ ...
ANOTHER VERSION OF THE FIRST SENTENCE Jul 28, 2005

[quote]Joyce Curran wrote:

PAPER 1: GENERAL TRANSLATION WITH OPTIONAL ANNOTATIONS
(Translate into Chinese for a general readership)

Mr President, Colleagues,
尊敬的院长先生,同事们,

Firstly I would like to inform the House that the PSE Group welcomes this report and the measures in it intended to prevent the activities of hooligans and organised thugs at matches. 首先我想向议院汇报,欧洲社会党(PSE)对这份报告以及报告里所列举的有关如何阻止流氓球迷, 以及其他有组织性流氓集团对球赛进行破坏活动的措施很感兴趣。

ANOTHER VERSION:

首先,我谨向上/下议院(上下应该明确)同仁表明,欧洲社会党(PSE, 本党? )对这份报告持赞赏态度. 报告中阐述的用来防止足球流氓以及其他有组织性流氓团伙的破坏活动的措施, 我们也乐观其成。


 
Wenjer Leuschel (X)
Wenjer Leuschel (X)  Identity Verified
Taiwan
Local time: 00:59
Da Inglese a Cinese
+ ...
開頭或可如此翻譯 Jul 28, 2005

主席、各位同仁:

首先,本席要向议院报告,欧洲社会党 (PSE) 乐见这份报告,对于其中所提有关防制流氓球迷、以及其它组织性流氓集团破坏球赛活动的措施,也颇感认同。不过,我们必须督导监督中心执行其功能的方式,以确保足球社群能充分融通情报。其中最重要的是,在财务和人事双方面,都必须保证给予恰当的资源。

Mr President, Colleagues,

... See more
主席、各位同仁:

首先,本席要向议院报告,欧洲社会党 (PSE) 乐见这份报告,对于其中所提有关防制流氓球迷、以及其它组织性流氓集团破坏球赛活动的措施,也颇感认同。不过,我们必须督导监督中心执行其功能的方式,以确保足球社群能充分融通情报。其中最重要的是,在财务和人事双方面,都必须保证给予恰当的资源。

Mr President, Colleagues,

Firstly I would like to inform the House that the PSE Group welcomes this report and the measures in it intended to prevent the activities of hooligans and organised thugs at matches. We will, however, need to monitor the way these monitoring centres carry out their functions to ensure that the football community is fully engaged in the exchange of information. Most important of all is the need to ensure adequate resources both in financial and personnel terms.

請 Joyce 特別留意用粗體標出的部分。在國會裡爭的是政治利益,每個黨都會想盡辦法把議案功能的具體執行,拉向接近自己黨人的利益。這段話已經表明了:欧洲社会党基本上贊同報告中所提的防制措施,但提醒要讓監督中心發揮功能,國家要有督導方案,錢和人是少不了的;本黨當然義不容辭、當人不讓囉。底下拉拉雜雜說的,無非本席和本黨對此事既有見地、也有能力,將來的督導工作應由本黨主導。

有空再提供我對其它部分的看法。


[Edited at 2005-07-28 07:33]
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Shaun Yeo
Shaun Yeo  Identity Verified
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Da Inglese a Cinese
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第17届韩素音翻译竞赛 Jul 28, 2005

这里有三篇参赛译文,我无意中在网上找到,有兴趣的朋友请看:
http://www.tianyaclub.com/new/Publicforum/Content.asp?idWriter=0&Key=0&strItem=english&idArticle=73914&flag=1


 
chance (X)
chance (X)
Da Francese a Cinese
+ ...
Joyce, Jul 28, 2005

很高兴你开的这栏,从你的翻译和其他同仁的讨论中,我受到不少启发。

借此机会也感谢各位!

Zhoudan wrote:

看了Joyce的初译,又看了Shaun认真仔细的点评和Wenjer的指点,真是受益匪浅。我看这可以作为案例收入我们的翻译教材。


 
Joyce Curran
Joyce Curran  Identity Verified
Local time: 17:59
Da Inglese a Cinese
+ ...
AVVIO ARGOMENTO
再次搜索 Jul 28, 2005

我不用说客气话,是不是?看了各位的点评,又开始在网上搜查。给我一点时间再回来告诉我的结果。

 
Bill Lao
Bill Lao
Local time: 00:59
Da Inglese a Cinese
+ ...
内容基本理解正确, Jul 28, 2005

内容基本理解正确,但有些表达恐怕改一下较好。

Mr President, Colleagues,
主席先生,同事们!

Firstly I would like to inform the House that the PSE Group welcomes this report and the measures in it intended to prevent the activities of hooligans and organised thugs at matches. We will, however, need to monitor the way these monitoring centres carry out their functions to ensure that the football community is fully engaged in the exchange
... See more
内容基本理解正确,但有些表达恐怕改一下较好。

Mr President, Colleagues,
主席先生,同事们!

Firstly I would like to inform the House that the PSE Group welcomes this report and the measures in it intended to prevent the activities of hooligans and organised thugs at matches. We will, however, need to monitor the way these monitoring centres carry out their functions to ensure that the football community is fully engaged in the exchange of information. Most important of all is the need to ensure adequate resourced both in financial and personnel terms.

首先,我想告知议院(上议院或下议院),欧洲社会党党团(PSE)欢迎这个报告及其旨在预防足球流氓和有组织暴徒在赛事时活动的措施。然而,我们将需监控这些监控中心执行其职责的方式,以确保足球界完全参与信息的交流。最重要的是需要确保在财政和人力方面有足够的资源。
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Joyce Curran
Joyce Curran  Identity Verified
Local time: 17:59
Da Inglese a Cinese
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AVVIO ARGOMENTO
又回来了! Jul 28, 2005

我就不指名道姓挨着道谢了,各位明白大妹子心存感激就行了。只要有空,请多来留几句。你们在这儿花的时间越多,我越得意。不要顾及我,发现翻译得不对之处,请即刻指出。

Shaun是正确的,"President"应该是“议长”,(从"examiners' report"里证实的。其他“主席,会长, 总统”均是错误的。

"PSE group"是指 "Party of European Socialists",所以是“欧洲社会党”。这在"examiners' report"也指出了。

“I” and "we"真的让我如梦初醒。

如果这一自然段以“首先,我代表欧洲社会党(PSE)谨此向上下议院汇报,本党对…”开始,是否会好一些呢?

继续往下看,更是乱七八糟了,不过我是很坚强的,绝对能够承受批评。


 
Wenjer Leuschel (X)
Wenjer Leuschel (X)  Identity Verified
Taiwan
Local time: 00:59
Da Inglese a Cinese
+ ...
不一定稱議長的 Jul 28, 2005

Joyce Curran wrote:
...
Shaun是正确的,"President"应该是“议长”,(从"examiners' report"里证实的。其他“主席,会长, 总统”均是错误的。
...


在台灣稱為院長,因為台灣的下院 (House) 稱立法院。其它國家有另外的稱法,"議長" 當然沒錯,但稱 "主席" 也不會錯,因為那是下院的主席。


 
Joyce Curran
Joyce Curran  Identity Verified
Local time: 17:59
Da Inglese a Cinese
+ ...
AVVIO ARGOMENTO
我有点不明白了 Jul 28, 2005

Wenjer Leuschel wrote:

Joyce Curran wrote:
...
Shaun是正确的,"President"应该是“议长”,(从"examiners' report"里证实的。其他“主席,会长, 总统”均是错误的。
...


在台灣稱為院長,因為台灣的下院 (House) 稱立法院。其它國家有另外的稱法,"議長" 當然沒錯,但稱 "主席" 也不會錯,因為那是下院的主席。


在翻译开头,有段文字我没有打出来:
the following was taken from a speech on security at international football matches delivered at the Plenary Session of the European Parliament in April 2002. By a member of the PSE Group of the Party of European Socialists.

在"examiners' report"说:“in the context, the term "President" refers to the Speaker in the Parliament, thus the encoding result should be [议长先生],but not [主席先生,会长先生 或总统先生],as found in ths scripts.

Sorry didn't supply this info before, but if with it, which way should I take or both? if I did translate as "主席先生”,如果评卷者不同意。这种情况下是否取决于评卷者的观点?

[Edited at 2005-07-28 15:05]


 
Shaun Yeo
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Local time: 00:59
Da Inglese a Cinese
+ ...
再来一段 Jul 28, 2005

Joyce Curran wrote:
On Friday, I visited the football intelligence unit in Greater Manchester police service. Unfortunately, we have a wealth of experience and expertise in tacking football related violence in my city. The Assistant Chief Constable of Greater Manchester Police has read this report and he welcomes the initiative in the light of what he calls “different standards in dealing, for example, with Manchester United away fixtures and England away fixtures”. On Friday, the unit was preparing for two key matches on Saturday. One of those was Oldham versus Stoke City: the last time these two teams had met, known hooligans had rampaged through the town, wrecking property and attacking people. In the UK we have pro-active football legislation to deal with our hooligan problems. This allows us to impose banning orders: so when a hundred of those fans arrived in Oldham, they were immediately arrested because they are banned from attending any matches. Those banning orders also apply to international matches.
星期五我参观了大曼彻斯特警署足球情报小组。不幸的是,我市在处理有关足球暴力行为方面不仅有丰富的实际经验,而且有极丰厚的专业知识。大曼彻斯特警署的助理警官在读了这个报告后,非常欣赏其中所说的起点行动,他称之为“处理不同问题时应予以不同的标准,比如说,Manchester United away fixtures and England away fixtures”. 在星期五,情报小组正在准备星期六就要举行的两场主赛。参赛之一是法国的奥德姆versus Stoke市球队:这两个球队上次比赛时,知名流氓团伙猖狂扰乱整个市区,破坏公物,骚扰市民。在英国我们有主动式的足球法规来处理限制流氓问题,此法规允许我们使用同时也可用于国际比赛的禁令:因为流氓球迷事先被禁止在任何球赛地点露面,假如说有100个那种捣蛋球迷抵达奥德姆,那么我们可以立即当地抓捕他们。

由于时间关系,我就提一下一点浅见,不再贴拙译献丑了:
-不幸的是,我市在处理有关足球暴力行为方面不仅有丰富的实际经验,而且有极丰厚的专业知识:个人觉得以“丰富的”和“极丰厚的”两组褒义形容词和“不幸的是”配搭,好像不太理想。不知道是不是可以用中性点的词汇,如“我市不得已在处理与足球相关的暴力罪行方面累积了大量的经验与专门知识,这确是一大憾事。”

-Away fixture:指的应是“客场赛期”吧?

-情报小组正在准备星期六就要举行的两场主赛:这就变成了该情报小组“筹备足球比赛”了,应该是“情报小组正为周六的两场重大比赛进行防暴工作(或类似加译)”吧?

-另外,主赛恐怕会被误解为“主场比赛”,还是译成重要、重大、关键比赛较稳当吧?

-参赛之一是法国的奥德姆versus Stoke市球队:这里明显的误读了吧?译成:“其中一场是法国的奥德姆对垒Stoke市”应该可以吧?

-known hooligans: known 和well-known是有差别的。known应该是指已知的流氓球迷,或已上了警方黑名单的球迷。可参考Ramsfield的已知的已知名句

- attacking people:“骚扰”(harass)似乎不到位,至少也要用“攻击”吧?

- In the UK we have pro-active football legislation to deal with our hooligan problems:这句或可译成:“在英国,警方得益于本国的足球法规,可采取先发制人的手法来处理……”

-最后一句的问题较大,你再看看怎么译,如何?其实,你大可采取顺译手法即可,无需颠倒词序。


 
Wenjer Leuschel (X)
Wenjer Leuschel (X)  Identity Verified
Taiwan
Local time: 00:59
Da Inglese a Cinese
+ ...
稍加說明 Jul 28, 2005

Joyce Curran wrote:

在翻译开头,有段文字我没有打出来:
the following was taken from a speech on security at international football matches delivered at the Plenary Session of the European Parliament in April 2002. By a member of the PSE Group of the Party of European Socialists.

在"examiners' report"说:“in the context, the term "President" refers to the Speaker in the Parliament, thus the encoding result should be [议长先生],but not [主席先生,会长先生 或总统先生],as found in ths scripts.

Sorry didn't supply this info before, but if with it, which way should I take or both? if I did translate as "主席先生”,如果评卷者不同意。这种情况下是否取决于评卷者的观点?


如果出題時已指定要用 "議長先生",那就只能用 "議長先生"。不過,如果沒有指定,歐洲 "議會主席" 就是 "議長",但不會是 "總統"。此外,在 "examinars' report" 裡說的 "the Speaker" 非常容易產生誤解,因為 "the Speaker" 可以是一般的發言人,不一定是議會主席或議長,既然有 "in the Parliament" ,那其實非是主持會議的 "主席" 不可了。我非常不解那種非為 "議長" 不可的指定。

評卷者如果是出題者,那他在出題時就必須說明他的指定,不能在事後隨便選定一個譯詞。那是對參試者不公平的。再者,我在各國的議會上聽到的大多是先對主席致意,如有外來的貴賓再對外賓致意,然後才對同僚或同仁致意;不過,在台灣從來不說 "議長先先" 或 "主席先生" 的,"議長、各位同仁" 或 "主席、各位同仁" 就夠了,"先生" 倒可以省去。評卷者既有他或他們的指定說明,那就不得不採取他或他們的觀點。但在實際上,翻譯的重點並不在於此。如果評卷者堅持此見,那就蠻可笑的了。

鹿橋的 "人子" 裡有一篇故事 "獸言",說到故事主人翁初到猩猩的國度,觀察到猩猩社會的秩序,"甚么大王不大王、王宫不王宫、宴会不宴会,都是为了与人说话方便起见,翻译出的既非人言,也不是兽语。" 我舉這個例子要說明的是:翻譯為的是溝通方便,弄清楚所指就對了,沒有什麼名詞必須堅持的。

[Edited at 2005-07-28 15:16]


 
Chinoise
Chinoise  Identity Verified
Local time: 13:59
Da Inglese a Cinese
+ ...
致乔伊斯: Jul 28, 2005

To Little Joyce,

对阿姨的那半点意见还满意吧?有空回个话。:)

Joyce Curran wrote:

我不用说客气话,是不是?看了各位的点评,又开始在网上搜查。给我一点时间再回来告诉我的结果。


 
Joyce Curran
Joyce Curran  Identity Verified
Local time: 17:59
Da Inglese a Cinese
+ ...
AVVIO ARGOMENTO
确实如此! Jul 28, 2005

Wenjer Leuschel wrote:



如果出題時已指定要用 "議長先生",那就只能用 "議長先生"。不過,如果沒有指定,歐洲 "議會主席" 就是 "議長",但不會是 "總統"。此外,在 "examinars' report" 裡說的 "the Speaker" 非常容易產生誤解,因為 "the Speaker" 可以是一般的發言人,不一定是議會主席或議長,既然有 "in the Parliament" ,那其實非是主持會議的 "主席" 不可了。我非常不解那種非為 "議長" 不可的指定。

評卷者如果是出題者,那他在出題時就必須說明他的指定,不能在事後隨便選定一個譯詞。那是對參試者不公平的。再者,我在各國的議會上聽到的大多是先對主席致意,如有外來的貴賓再對外賓致意,然後才對同僚或同仁致意;不過,在台灣從來不說 "議長先先" 或 "主席先生" 的,"議長、各位同仁" 或 "主席、各位同仁" 就夠了,"先生" 倒可以省去。評卷者既有他或他們的指定說明,那就不得不採取他或他們的觀點。但在實際上,翻譯的重點並不在於此。如果評卷者堅持此見,那就蠻可笑的了。

[Edited at 2005-07-28 15:05]


主席已经是一个称呼了,再来一个“先生”有重复的感觉。我今天早上查了好久,就不明白应该怎样处理。而且,在这儿“尊敬地”也没有必要存在吗


 
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